I find myself thinking a lot about how I grew up in an undiagnosed neurodivergent family. I've thought a lot about how that protected me growing up, and about how it didn't.
Maybe from the outside it looks like stubbornness, or like outbursts that come “out of nowhere”, but meltdowns and shutdowns usually happen after a long buildup of factors that are quite complex if you stop to think about it.
We might not take others' suggestions of how to change very well, but having people around us who support our efforts and believe in our success, is key to achieving change.